A Very Special Crazy X-Men Christmas
by batman100
Summary: It's Christmas Eve at the X-Mansion... and with Scott and Logan's usual mischief and mayhem, Jean and the X-Girls' constant planning to get them in order, plus a VERY heartwarming ending, it promises to be a Christmas the X-Men will NEVER forget!


**A Very Special Crazy X-Men Christmas**

"Bah humbug" Jean grumbled in boredom, as Christmas decorations lit magically around the mansion as Scott and the X-Gang were out caroling, thus leaving Jean, Emma and Madame Hydra in charge of the house

"How can you say that, Jean? Especially on Christmas Eve, for goodness sakes!" Emma gasped, appalled by Jean's gloom and boredom

"I know…oh, if only there was something to cheer me up" Jean moaned, but nothing started

"Hmm, false alarm" Madame Hydra commented

"I **said** if only…" Jean started again before the sound of bells echoed through the night "What was that?"

"It's Santa!" Emma gasped in delight, rummaging through her purse for her sandman dust "We cant let Santa see us when we're up"

"Wait a minute! What do you mean by…" Jean started before getting sprinkled by moon dust. Jean smiled before snuggling on the couch, snoring

"Ok Emma, what did you do this time? And **please** tell me you did not use syringes again" Scott groaned, seeing Jean, Emma…and the dust

"Oh nothing really. We heard bells ringing, so we thought it was Santa, but then Jean started ranting, so I sprinkled some dream dust on her, so here she is, with sugarplums dancing in her head" Emma giggled, her voice starting to act insane

"Uh…ok" Scott stammered before whispering to Logan "Get...the eggnog…out of here"

"Got it, boss" Logan replied, heading to the kitchen "Wait a minute, where is the…"

"Bottles of soda! Yes, bottles of soda, same area with the eggnog!" Scott shouted, covering Logan's mouth with his hand

"Just play along with me on this before the sand wears off, or the jig is up" Scott hissed as Logan quickly complied

"What are those jokers up to now?" Emma wondered suspiciously as Scott and Logan were speaking in private

"Just let me handle them, Emma dear. I can read these goofs like a book" Madame Hydra grinned, walking over to them

"…That seems like an awfully **long** book" Emma joked before Jean started to stir

"Back to bed, back to bed" Emma jolted, spraying Jean with more sand dust

"Ok the coast is clear, let's hop through the window" Scott replied as he opened the front window while Logan stood guard

"Scott…It's Christmas Eve…it's practically Alaska out there…everything's like a silent night. Now I'm only asking this as my Christmas wish…but please, **please** don't cause any trouble like last time" Logan begged before Madame Hydra's footsteps echoed

"Let's get outta here" Logan hesitated, changing his mind before Madame Hydra got hold of the back of his jacket

"Going somewhere, boys?" Madame Hydra asked, shutting the window "What are you two even doing? You'll get frostbite for goodness sakes. You two are so silly"

"Um…we were looking for the eggnog. Uh…we thought the fridge could use…some, um…new…bottles" Scott said, as Logan agreed, smiling forcefully as Madame Hydra listened cautiously

"Those two are up to something, I just know it" Emma hissed before turning to Kurt "Mr. Wagner, I have a special job for you: Keep a special, discreet eye on Masters Summers and Howlett on what they're doing and you'll receive a brand new sword in your stocking tomorrow morning"

"With pleasure" Kurt responded, making a polite bow

"Good boy. Carry on with your job" Emma replied, smiling brightly as Kurt teleported to a safe location

"Ok what are you having Kurt do? I do trust you, but what are you needing my brother for?" Rogue demanded, cautiously

"Nothing, really. I just need him to spy on the two Prankster Princes over there" Emma replied, directing Rogue's attention to Logan, Scott and Madame Hydra, conversing in the loft

"Actually…I take it back. I'll help him" Rogue quickly replied, before heading out to meet up with Kurt, not knowing Forge was watching her, on **Jean's** orders

"Good work. Make sure Rogue and Kurt do **not** harm them" Jean instructed over the walkie-talkie

"Affirmative" Forge responded, before getting a closer look at the conversation going on in the loft

"…Scott, I really appreciate your helpfulness, but really, we have plenty of eggnog. Just check the fridge; it's overflowing with it since last week. Just what do you two need more for?" Madame Hydra asked, continuing her interrogation, watching carefully on Scott and Logan's body heat so they won't snap

"Um…actually, I think you meant the **figgy pudding** that's overflowing. We have only three eggnog bottles left" Scott confessed as Madame Hydras started to realize the facts

"Oh…right. Is that what you two are looking for? Hmmm, very clever, Scott. We could indeed use some new ones…not so fast!" Madame Hydra asked as Scott and Logan tried to sneak out through the window

"Er…yes, how thoughtful. Gee, you must be…more smarter than Cerebro" Scott smiled forcefully shutting the window, as Logan tried to speak, only for Scott to clamp his hand over his mouth again

"The eggnog is in the warehouse cabin, right by the garden, straight down the yard. Just get the first bottle, be sure to re-lock the cabinet, and also if you boys would mind, could you check my venus flytrap plant? It needs feeding. If you guys do any of your shenanigans and if the eggnog bottles are smashed, you two are in major trouble. Have I made myself **perfectly** clear?" Madame Hydra instructed, leaning toward Scott's face for emphasis

"Uh…very clear, ma'am. But what about the…" Logan started before Scott nudged him to shush

"Would you just get the thing I asked and get back in here! It's starting to look like a blizzard brewing! And no goofing off, or you two will have to be on scrub duty for three weeks!" Madame Hydra snapped, before reverting to her pleasant self "Have fun, boys"

Scott and Logan waited before Madame Hydra exited the loft, then both took a deep, long exhale of relief "Whoo, thank goodness that's over" Logan heaved

"Let's find the cabin. We need to get those eggnog items. We're on a special errant" Scott reminded before opening the window "After you" He said, letting Logan enter first

"Be my guest" Logan grunted, jumping out before Scott followed, only to dive head-first into the snowy ground

"Ugh! That was crazy!" Scott grumbled, spitting snow out of his mouth

"Save the one-liners for later, bud. The cabin's right down here. Let's hustle" Logan ordered, as he and Scott raced through the garden

Meanwhile, back in the mansion…

"Well, it's been at least five minutes. They should be in the cabin by now" Madame Hydra asked, pacing back and forth around the loft

"Um…Madame Hydra? I have something you might wanna take a closer look at" Warren piped up, directing Madame Hydra's attention to the fridge

"What the…I thought we had only **three** eggnog bottles left after the party?" Madame Hydra asked, before pausing and smiling brightly, patted Warren on the back "Thank you for the tip, Mister Worthington"

"I'll get them back in the mansion" Warren replied, spreading out his wings

"Good boy" Madame Hydra cooed, giving him a smooch on the cheek as he flew out into the garden in search of Scott and Logan

"Nice try, boys…" Madame Hydra thought as she got hold of her communicator "You're obviously not the **only** one who's at the best at what you do" and getting a link to Jean's channel

"What is it?" Jean asked, her voice through the phone link

"Get Rogue and Kurt. Tell them to head to the storage cabin. Oh and…bring the tranquilizer darts, also" Madame Hydra ordered

"With pleasure" Jean grinned, before heading out "With me" with Peter, Pyro and Lance following as they headed for the cabin…

"Ok, got it! Here's plenty for the whole month!" Logan shouted, his bags bulging with eggnog drinks

"Good, now all we have to do is…" Scott started before running into the barrel of a tranquilizer gun

"Going somewhere?" Jean smiled, her aim at Scott's chest, with Madame Hydra, Rogue, Kurt, Pyro and Lance. Peter and Kitty were held back, tied up by Victor

"They made me spill the beans…I'm sorry, brother" Peter confessed as Jean's finger inched closer toward the trigger

"So be it. Jean, shoot them with the darts. Get the bottles and have them placed in the fridge" Madame Hydra ordered as Jean shot two well-aimed darts at Scott and Logan…only for Peter to have them bounce off his armored chest

"This madness ends here!" Peter bellowed, bending the barrels of the pistols before gently tossing them into the ground

"How…" Jean ranted before Kurt placed an anesthesia mask over her face

"Ugh, thanks Peter. How'd you do that?" Scott grunted, as Peter and Victor helped him and Logan up

"Well…darts are immune to metal armor" Peter spoke up, proudly as Jean started to stir

"Ugh…what a weird dream…What time is it?" Jean gasped, her eyes darting to her watch

"It's…it's almost midnight! Santa's coming! Back to the mansion!" Madame Hydra ordered as the X-Men scrambled into the loft

The next morning…

"Ho ho ho!" Peter cheered, wearing a Santa outfit that Jean sewed for him that fit his size as the X-Men gathered around the Christmas tree, overflowing with presents

"Ooh! A new portrait of Sara! Scott, that's so sweet!" Jean smiled before giving Scott a huge smooch, the X-Girls laughing with delight

"Well I'll be! New claw sharpeners for my fingernails. You're alright, Logan. You're alright" Victor smiled, patting Logan on the back

"Merry Christmas, Vic" Logan replied as Jean got his attention

"To Logan from Jean and Scott?" Logan replied, his eyes filled with curiosity and wonder "Hmmm.." He started, opening the package before his eyes beamed with joy when he saw what he got: A photo of Logan celebrating his birthday with Scott and Jean standing by him. All three, smiling, happy

"…That's…the best Christmas gift…ever" Logan smiled, tears of joy streaming down his face

"Merry Christmas Logan" Jean smiled, giving Logan a warm embrace and a passionate, caring kiss before Scott joined in

"Ah, ah ah! I'm not kissing you" Logan joked as the X-Men cracked up

**Merry Christmas from Batman100 and FanFiction!**


End file.
